Do you ever think your partner is Mr Wrong?

Sorry – random, I know. Yes, and maybe even a tiny bit sexist.

Not at all fair comment on the Lovely Man, either.

Anyway, Lori Lowe’s fabulous article We All Married the Wrong Person on her blog Marriage Gems is hugely worth a read if you’ve ever wondered if your partner is “Mr Not Right For Me”.

And seriously, in a stepfamily situation complete with rampant stress and over-the-phone expletives and mashed potato flying about at mealtimes, who hasn’t?

Lori suggests that marrying/partnering with the right person is actually a question of commitment and not of finding the mythical “perfect match”.

Stepfamilies understand commitment in a uniquely powerful way, I think.

Certainly, one of the most profoundly positive aspects of life in a stepfamily is the enormous reserve of commitment so many of us find in ourselves and our partners; commitment to caring for and nurturing children not our own, to sticking with our partners in the face of enormous challenges from kids and exes, to educating and equipping ourselves for stepfamily life.

Sometimes, that commitment may need a slight refocus – an important part of your commitment to your stepfamily should include a commitment to nurturing yourself, lest you turn into a Disappearing Woman.

How does your commitment show in your stepfamily?

How can you commit to caring for yourself better?

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9 Comments

Filed under Remarriage, Self-Care Challenge, Stepfamily Life

9 responses to “Do you ever think your partner is Mr Wrong?

  1. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here! I completely agree that one’s commitment to being a stepmom, to her step kids and to her man is a bigger factor than pontificating on is he the right guy for me. I feel it is a calling to be a stepmom (especially a childless one) and therefore in a different realm than a lot of other marriages. I think my husband has a greater commitment to it than I do, so I am usually first to throw the mashed potatoes (ha!), but I wouldn’t have endured what I have if it wasn’t for my commitment to all these crazy shenanigans…!

  2. lorilowe

    Thanks so much for pointing your readers to my post!
    Lori Lowe

  3. A.R.

    I needed this today. Really glad I found your blog.

    Thank you.

  4. I think commitment can be a problem if one partner sees the other as being Mr/Ms right for now while the other is in it for the long haul. But that could just be me being bitter.

  5. Pingback: More on Marrying the Wrong Person (via Marriage Gems) « Stepmum Of The Year

  6. “Stepfamilies understand commitment in a uniquely powerful way……”

    This sentence is awesome and dead on.

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